Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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