what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
