ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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