She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
