So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
