Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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