as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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