I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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