I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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