All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize