SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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