So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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