Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
