Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
