omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
