i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
