Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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