I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
