I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dicks are not precious.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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