wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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