i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
