I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
