Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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