are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize