Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
At least make sure they are 18
Why
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
