Just took my morning after pill in the library
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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