Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
