that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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