People in love make me want to vomit
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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