I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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