Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
