If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize