i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
