I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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