I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
