I woke up to her vacumming the grass
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
