Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
