I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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