Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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