my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
