Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Randomize
