yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
