She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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