He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
