Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
