I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
