you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
