I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
