I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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