and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize