I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
