did you get engaged???
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
