who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
