you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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