sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
