You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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