the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Alive.
So much puke
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Is Oprah even human
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
