Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
