I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
