Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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