and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
