The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
