i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
