i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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