Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
