That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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