i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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