Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
