Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
