Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize