Will you blow on my dice?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
