Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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