Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
